I am one of the most indecisive people there are. And I'm married to another one. There's been a lot to blog about, but I've just felt anxious about putting it out there because it seems to make these decisions so final.
When school first started, I was feeling anxious about how my oldest son does in school. He struggles with being organized, getting work turned in, etc. Probably pretty typical stuff for a 6th grader. Plus, all of my anxieties about Jr. High next year. Well, I had talked to a friend about different charter schools, and really liked what I saw when I looked into them. So I decided I'd just put my kids names out there, and leave the rest to chance, since they usually base enrollment on a lottery. I figured if it was meant to be it would happen.
So, toward the end of November I got a call from one of the schools telling me that my 6th graders names were drawn and they would start in January. A lot of me felt nervous pulling the kids out part way through the year. Missy was not happy at all about the thought of leaving. We took the whole family to the school for a tour with the principal and got an enrollment packet. Missy said she wanted to finish 6th grade where she's at, which is understandable. They said that was fine, and she could start in 7th grade. But, we went ahead and enrolled Buddy--that way the spots for my other kids are held open for next year.
I really feel like this opportunity has been an answer to my prayers, but I can't shake the feelings of anxiety. All through Christmas break I was so nervous about this. I know what a wonderful opportunity it is for the kids. And even though I feel like it is something we need to at least try, it doesn't make it any easier.
Today was Buddy's first day--beginning of the 3rd term. There were several new kids starting so he wasn't the only one. The first hour I stayed with him while we had a question/answer session with the guidance counselor, then it was off to classes. 6th grade there is a lot like Jr. High--they change classes and have lockers, etc. Tonight when it was time for bed, though, he curled up on my lap in tears. Which didn't make it very easy for me to be comforting, because I started crying, too.
It's hard, this kid-raising business. Oh, how I long for the days and nights when I was up 400 times a night, and my biggest worry was getting kids to sleep, fed, calmed, changed. It was exhausting, but it was a lot easier than the worry and anxiety that comes when they're older. I've been more anxious these past few weeks than I ever was when he started kindergarten.
Anyway, I don't mean to sound like such a Debbie Downer. I'm sure in a couple of weeks when he's made new friends and gotten over the new-ness of it all, things will be wonderful. At least I hope so.
5 comments:
If you feel like you are doing the right think then it will all work out. Buddy is a great kid and he will make friends in no time and then he will be happy as ever. It's just hard getting through the first part!
I am exactly like you. I have a horrible time making decisions and then when I finally make one I feel like I made the wrong one. I think it's just like you said though. It was meant to happen. A lot of people don't make it into those schools and so to actually make it in is a big deal. Hopefully this anxiety will only be for a short time and then they will be getting an amazing education. :)
Public schools are hard to deal with. That is why Carter schools are so popular and they have to do a lottery thing. Everyone wants their kids there. I think you are right about the smaller class sizes and more attention thing. It will be better once he acclimates!
Im telling you its hard to be a parent to children that are growing up. I too wish for the days when my worries were laundy, children being quiet in sacrament, sleepless night etc.
I'll say a little prayer for you and Buddy tonight. I know it will help!
It is so hard to pull you kids our of regular school and try something new with them - I know. Makae was not happy when we started home schooling. Cade on the other hands loves it. When we had Cade at Helquist - he wasn't pleased the first few weeks, but once he got to know the kids, and he got the hang of the schedule it was the best thing ever for him. To this day - he loves Helquist Academy. THe small classes - largest was 9 were wonderful, the teachers had time to really work with them, and the things they could do with a smaller class were so wonderful. It really was the best thing we could have done for him!
Give it time and I am sue he will like it. Besides Ethan thinks he is great and wants to hang out, and that won't change as they aren't in the same grade at school.
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